"Never again shall you thirst, for I am come to wet your mouth with wine and water, to quench your thirst with kisses. Words of Love from my own lips will serve as your oasis, and you shall never want for drink again."
hey friends any time anyone tells you that you should just get over your menstrual cramps please feel free to refer to that time i raised my hand in the middle of a graduate seminar because of sharp stabbing pains in my uterus, almost fainted, then almost vomited, then cried in front of my supervisor, then had to be helped out of the building by my supervisor because my legs were shaking so much i could barely walk.
So I found a site that does a subscription box for your period- it sends you basics like hygiene products, pain medication as well as snacks and pampering stuff to make you feel good,
but the best thing is they have a specialty boxes, like vegan or kosher only snacks but also
they specifically offer boxes for menstruating guys and nb folks.
which is pretty darn cool.
it’s called bonjourjolieand I think it’s 1000% awesome tbh
ok so in high school on away game days, the football players and cheerleaders would have to share busses because our school was broke as fuck so our cheer bus would always have a group of varsity footballerers in the back of it. one day my genius friend and I were discussing our feminist rage when she said “bridget you should totally throw a tampon back there and see what they do” and me being myself, stood up and hurled a one (1) tampon at the Manly Men. IT LOOKED LIKE A WAR MOVIE. THE BROS FACES WERE FILLED WITH HORROR AS THEIR BUDDY GOT SHOT. HE WENT DOWN SO DRAMATICALLY AS SCREAMS FILLED THE BUS. BOYS WERE SLINKING AS FAR AWAY FROM THE DEADLY TAMPON AS PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE. ONE BRO WAS EYEING THE EMERGENCY WINDOW WITH ALL SERIOUSNESS, READY TO FREE HIMSELF FROM THE THREAT. BEING IN CHICAGO, THE BUS DRIVER PULLED OVER ASSUMING A KID ACTUALLY GOT SHOT. A GIRL HAD TO GO GET THE TAMPON SO THE GUYS WOULD STOP SHITTING THEIR PANTS AND SIT THEIR ASSES THE FUCK BACK DOWN.
I have deduced 2 things from this whole experience: 1. men are ridiculous 2. I wish I had thrown more than one tampon
TRUE STORY
When my brother was in high school, as a prank, someone stuck a pad to the front bumper of his truck. A CLEAN, UNUSED PAD.
My brother came home from high school, 17 years old, CRYING and my dad made ME go get it off his truck.
I had honestly forgotten about that until just now.
I sincerely regret never having done this during my school days.
Yep. I’m an electrician, and we carry voltage meters with us (slang: “Wiggy”, from an old brand name of meter that just about no one uses any more). They take up too much space to put in a tool pouch, so if you don’t want to leave it in the tool box/bag, you’ll have a separate pouch on your tool belt for it. A long, narrow pouch that is convenient as hell for putting spare tampons in where they’ll stay clean and undamaged until needed.
A lot of the guys just leave their meters back in their tool boxes, which are in the gang box, which is usually some hike away from the actual work. So, “can I borrow your meter?” is something I hear a lot. And the response is always, “sure.” They always emit a high-pitched scream (somewhat similar to the tone emitted by the meter when voltage is present) when the tampons fall out when they take out the meter. “WHAT ARE *THOSE* DOING IN THERE?!!” I’ll pick one up and do my best Groucho Marx imitation (with the tampon as cigar): “Whaddya think they’re doing in there, sweetheart?” (wiggling eyebrows, “cigar” tapping). Their reaction is adorable. In almost thirty years of doing this work, I’ve yet to get a blase–“oops, didn’t mean to drop your tampons” response.
So what I’m getting from this is tampon shotguns/grenades as a weapon against overaggressive dudes in public spaces, y/y?
oh my god, what a genius idea. some dude won’t shut the fuck up, you don’t even look up from your phone as you pull a tampon out of the bag and just wave it at the motherfucker like a wizard’s wand. AWAAAAAAY.
if you threw a pad or tampon into a crowd of boys they would probably all scream and it would be like that scene from monsters inc where george gets contaminated by a sock
oh man oh man
I now want to keep a new pad in my pocket at all times
for the occasion of being harrassed, calmly opening the pad, and stickying it to the jerkface’s face
“To catch the bloody stupid ideas that keep dripping out of your mouth”
using an applicator tampon to fire the tampon at someone (you’d have to hit it hard & fast but practice makes perfect)
MOAR STORY TIME:
in high school, in an AP science class, all the boys were in a group and huddled around something and acting like it was a bag of puke or something and daring each other to poke it. one of the girls asks what they’re doing and the boys look at each other all sly and shit and run over and shove this long white odd-shaped pen in her face. they ask her to identify it. she says its a pen. the boys look disappointed and go over to me and ask the same thing.
i say “its a weird shaped pen” and they wiggle it around a little bit and go “yeah but what does it look like?” Im clueless to what they’re going on about. meanwhile all the rest of the class is watching. the dude finally gets tired of the unimpressed responses he’s getting and goes “it looks like a tampon, right?!” all triumphant like he found a bug and expects us all to scream in fear of it
instead the first girl he talked to reaches over to her bag and starts to rummage around going “no, THIS is what a tampon looks like” and BEFORE SHE CAN EVEN FINISH PULLING IT OUT all the boys have scattered to the farthest corners of the room, screaming, like banshee-roaches when the lights come on
it was funny as hell XD
all the girls were laughing their asses off. the boys didn't’ live that down for the rest of the year.
I once opened a brand new box of pads and as I was opening it my brother literally started screaming about how gross it was. I tried to tell him they were clean but he just kept telling me they were still disgusting so I took one out and threw one at him and he FREAKED THE FUCK OUT. My mom was lowkey laughing but I still got in trouble cuz he literally would not stop screaming. Keep in mind my brother is 21. Men are weak in the face of plastic and cotton.
Oo, oo, when you do a first-aid course and they say ‘a pad is a ready-made sterile bandage / a tampon is sterile and great to bite down on if you lose a tooth’ or whatever other helpful application of sterile cotton to a wound site is applicable
and you get to just look around the circle and see the guys all panic
DON’T WOMEN KNOW THEY COME PRE-TAINTED BY TAINT
Even better when it’s a Scout leaders’ first aid course and all the male leaders go squirmy and uncomfortable and I just think “yeah, I really hope none of your kids ever get caught unprepared with a period because clearly you’re going to be useless”.
They are! But not as gross as poop. Or, you know, any other injuries that might require medical brain because things have been broken open and there is blood.
I will say this about my ex. None of this shit ever bugged him in the least. He’d go buy my stuff for me, would even take a note to make sure he got the right kind.
Globally, a woman’s period is perceived as more disgusting than rape. Society deems a natural, female bodily function as vile and even punishable in different cultures. We are expected to cover up, hide, and be ashamed for an uncontrollable, anatomical expectation of our bodies. And just…why? Why have women been brainwashed to accept and adopt this misconception? It’s time we make it known that this twisted standard of women is a bloody obvious mistake.
This is literally now my favorite post ever, because its become thousands of reblogs consisting of passing on good fortune. Meanwhile many of y’all added your own comments saying your thanks, and continuing the chain by adding your own little bit of wishful thinking. You are all wonderful.
may you not leak even once
May it never strike a night early and stain your bed.
Anonymous: "Hey, I just saw what you wrote about your BC pills. I can totally relate. After I got my first period, I didn't get one for several months. When I turned 14, I told my mom that I wanted to get on BC, because I wanted it to work itself out. So, I went to her doctor after school one day, and the first thing she asks is if I'm pregnant because I hadn't had a period in like over a year. I was so upset! No, I'm 14! I want to be normal! I hate when doctors assume instead instead of just asking."
Oh man that sucks. I really hope your got all your menstruation stuff figured out though, a regular cycle is really important!
so basically when you have your period and your lower back hurts it is because your hips are contracting and spreading apart, only slightly, to make room for the release of the blood and linings of your uterus. so basically your body is going through a small and mild labor to push out the dead insides of your uterus. so basically I have gone through labor and basically I don’t want children.
why aren’t we taught this shit
Also, another reason menstruation hurts? Your uterus is contracting so hard it’s cutting off its own blood supply!
However, while this can hurt (and any non-uterus-havers who say you shouldn’t complain, ask them to cut off the blood supply to their hand or other limb and see how they feel) it shouldn’t hurt so much that it impairs your everyday life.
If you’re in so much pain that you can’t stand up, feel faint or have to vomit, you might have endometriosis or some other complication that you need to seek medical attention for.
The whole “menstruations hurt” is so unhelpful to learn since you never get taught how much it should hurt. Endometriosis is a fairly common illness among people with uteri and yet I went 13 frikkin’ years without treatment because I thought I was just experiencing menstrual cramps.
Anatomy education really needs to step up its game! A lot of uterus-havers are suffering under the false assumption that ‘this is just the way the world is’ when there’s a lot of things that could be done about said pain.
/end rant.
Note that a big part of that is that, until relatively recently, nobody really knew what “average” or “typical” was in terms of menstrual discomfort because the male-dominated medical establishment has historically been uninterested in addressing “women’s problems”. Indeed, a great deal of what we think of as common knowledge regarding female anatomy and physiology is really unsupported supposition, because nobody’s ever bothered to check in any systematic way.
(I mean, heck, up until just a few years ago, we still thought that the thickening of the uterine lining that precedes menstruation was actually meant to render the uterus more hospitable for a hypothetical embryo, and look accurate that turned out to be.)
^wait, you mean that’s not true?
Nope. The menstrual cycle creates a hostile environment for newly fertilised embryos, in order to weed out the weak and unfit ones before any resources are wasted allowing them to grow. We spent centuries blithely assuming it was precisely the opposite because, well, having babies is what women are for, right?
