i think that instead of dean outright just asking cas if he meant his confession Romantically he’d just continuously try and pigeonhole the both of them into Prime Kissing Scenarios just to see if cas would. because, Okay, maybe cas didnt kiss him in the dungeon because of the Everything that was going on, but maybe, just maybe, now that he’s back, and theyre safe- he Would? he doesnt even think about if he WANTS cas to feel that way Romantically towards him, he just wants to give cas a chance, because maybe he didnt have enough time, then, but now- now he could kiss dean, and dean would let him. he’d let him. and it’d confirm to him that the confession WAS romantic, that cas is in fact, IN love with him- and he’d. he’d figure out the rest after. but for now, he picks more romantic movies during movie nights, he brings cas to low-lit bars and fancier, candle-lit restaurants. he slings an arm over his shoulder while theyre walking and he walks cas to his room every night. he lets his eyes wander downward, to cas’ lips, all the while willing cas to just fucking- grab him. and kiss him. to put him- to put the BOTH of them- out of their misery. i think cas would see dean doing all of This and think that dean’s just doing it out of obligation, because he THINKS that he needs to spend more time with cas- or give him more hugs- or cook him breakfast- because he feels indebted to him, because of COURSE the confession is a burden to him, no matter how many smiles or dinners he cooks for cas. i think that dean would definitely be nonstop fantasizing about cas kissing him- hard and slow, gentle and fast- at the kitchen table, on the couch, in the impala, right outside the diner. he’d think, Now. He’s gonna kiss me now. and he’d hold his breath, like he always does, and tries not to feel- disappointed? upset? when cas never does, when cas doesnt close the gap between them. he’s just- he’s just tryin’ to be a good friend, all right? he’s tryin’ to give his buddy an in. and cas is making it harder than it should be. i think eventually dean gets himself SO riled up that he just fucking kisses cas in the bunker’s hallway. i think sam moves out to eileen’s place by week 2 because he does NOT want to witness this.
i think that when dean DOES finally kiss him its abrupt and sudden and his nerves feel like theyre on fire and it happens when he’s walking cas back to his room- you know, like a good friend would- and cas is talking about flowers- or something, but its all noise to dean because all hes focused on is Cas and Fuck is he going to kiss me now and then FINALLY just Fuck it and he just fucking grabs cas by his ratty band shirt and plants one on him, because maybe cas was just too polite to make the first move- or whatever, and the least dean can do is help his buddy out. and for a split second its fucking perfect and amazing and he just thinks, Finally, but then he realises that cas isnt kissing back. and his eyes go wide and he lets cas go and cas just looks wrecked, fucking broken, and before dean can react or apologise or fucking do anything besides stand there and just gape at him, cas’ hands come up to where dean’s hands are still gripping onto his shirt and he just says. You dont have to do this. and its gentle and broken and its a bucket of cold water on dean because if he didnt know whether or not the confession was romantic before, he knows now. it isnt. cas isnt IN love with him. cas just loves him, because cas is his friend. because he’s family. and dean- dean just fucking KISSED him. and then dean stumbles back, the tendrils of a panic attack taking root within him as he mumbles out a feeble apology before beelining for his room, all the while thinking you kissed him you kissed him you fucking IDIOT he didnt mean it that way and you KISSED him. i think when cas feels dean’s lips on him he short circuits for a second, every instinct telling him to lean in before absolute sheer fucking guilt takes ahold of him because THIS is what he did to dean. his confession MADE dean think that he HAD to do this- that he’s obligated to give a piece of himself to cas because of it. and cas sees how dean looks- his brows furrowed, face flushed, eyes pinched shut, hands trembling where theyre bunched at his shirt- he just looks like he’s ready to snap, tension basically radiating off him, and cas is just fucking heartbroken because all he ever wanted was to let dean know he was loved, wholly and unconditionally- he was never meant to come back or live with the aftermath, he never wanted his confession to be about reciprocation- because OF COURSE dean would think thats what its all about. because dean thinks he has to give pieces of himself away to justify other people’s love for him. and cas did this. cas did this to him. i think he’d watch dean go, and he’d just stand there in that hallway for a long, long time.
i DO think that they’d spend some time just avoiding each other for awhile, the both of them assuming that’s what the other person wants because they Both think that they irrevocably fucked up The Friendship. and maybe the bunker’s a little too quiet these days especially without sam or eileen there to sooth over the tension between them, but its fine. its fine! but. there’s a problem- cas HAD been using dean as his personal chauffeur for the last couple of weeks, his truck finally breaking down beyond repair while he was out cold, but by then it didnt matter anyway, since dean seemed so gung-ho on spending time with him and taking him out everywhere. he figured he could hold off on getting a car for awhile- (in hindsight he thinks he was being selfish- taking advantage of dean’s kindness like that, wanting to spend as much time with him as possible) and thus, as another consequence of avoiding dean, cas finds himself stranded at the bunker. sam took the other car when he moved out, and cas DEFINITELY can’t ask to borrow baby- not now, anyway, with how they’ve- with how he’s made a mess of things. but, he still wants to go to the farmers market in town on saturdays, because he likes routine. and he prefers the tomatoes from there. i think cas spends a couple of weeks ducking out earlier than he used to in order to catch a bus to the market, arriving home later than he would had dean just driven him, but he figures that since sam is finally coming to visit next week he could just hold off on getting a car until sam’s able to drive him to the local dealership. it’s not like he minds much, anyways- being a millennia-old (ex) cosmic being, sometimes it’s nice just to sit and watch the world pass by in a dingy old bus (sometimes. other times, its crowded, and people won’t stop elbowing him in his stomach). it does, unfortunately, usually leave his groceries becoming bruised and smushed. and one morning, as he’s about to head out, he bumps into dean- barely awake, a cup of coffee in his hand. cas stares for a moment, at his scruff and ruffled hair, before excusing himself lest he do something Stupid like grabbing him by his robe and kissing him (which dean will Not appreciate). but dean stops him, asks him where he’s going. and cas tells him he’s going to the farmer’s market, and for a second dean looks stricken- for what, cas can’t tell, but then Dean says that He can take him there, if he wants. and cas is torn- because its hard to say no to dean, and he would LOVE to have un-bruised pears for the week (and a part of him just wants to be able to be near him again) but another part of him is telling him to say no, because dean’s just woken up, because dean shouldn’t feel like he needs to drive castiel everywhere, because the farmer’s market never really was dean’s thing, anyway. but before he can reply, dean abruptly blurts out a “unless- you dont want me to take you. if you wanna go alone- thats fine too.” cas immediately replies with a “no, i’d like that- you driving me there. i’d like that.” before he can even Process what he’s saying.